Erev Rosh Hashanah 5769

What a summer and fall it has been! Since June 16 at 5:01 pm—when I had the honor of officiating at the first wedding for a lesbian couple in Southern California—there is wedding mania out there. Many of you have gotten married and celebrated your relationships. Many of you in the weeks ahead will get married celebrating your relationship. And we will all hold our breath so that beyond Nov 4, Election Day –that weddings for gay men and lesbians will be able to continue. We must we defeat Proposition 8 on the fall ballot that would take away this new found right to legally marry.

How amazing was the Supreme Court of California to affirm what many of us have long known—that full equality under the law must include the right to marry the one you love. But the eloquent decision of the California Supreme Court went further than just a discussion about marriage rights. And this is what many people missed—if you are gay or lesbian—even if you have no desire to marry –even if you think marriage a terrible, patriarchal institution –this ruling is critically important for you. This court decision affirmed the basic and fundamental humanity and dignity and worth of gay men and lesbians in our state. This ruling declared that ANY law that discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation –is constitutionally suspect. This is the most stringent law on the books in the nation and provides you with tremendous protection from all kinds of discrimination here in California. That is why this ruling is more than just a ruling about the Freedom to Marry and this is why whether you want to get married or not—whether you are singled or coupled or gay or straight—why we must do everything to defeat Proposition 8. Proposition 8 would change the definition of marriage and enshrine discrimination into our State Constitution. A vote for "No on 8" repudiates those that would take us backwards and more importantly will protect our state from great injustices and discrimination. That is why we are devoting so much time and energy this fall as part of our social justice programming at Temple to the defeat of Proposition 8. There is material in the foyer—yard signs, stickers and other materials to help you share the message with others to vote and defeat Proposition 8. Our Board of Trustees endorsed a No on 8 position and our Temple was part of the founders of the state wide coalition that formed to fight it—we understand that this is not only about marriage rights. It is about the fundamental human worth of gay men and lesbians.

Something our Reform Jewish tradition has now long recognized. I am happy to report to you as well that our Reform movement in California –both in Southern California and Northern California endorsed No on 8 positions and is educating congregations throughout the state on the matter! As have the Pacific Association of Reform Rabbis, the National Council of Jewish Women, the ADL, the American Jewish Committee and the Progressive Jewish Alliance.

We too must turn out in droves—to call our family and friends to vote. We must move ourselves to the polls–for if we do not—we risk more than just some of the marriages that have taken place—we risk emboldening the fundamentalist Christian political movement – and they will stop at nothing short of destroying our families and taking away our children and our civil rights and not just here in California but throughout the country.
But why talk about this on Rosh Hashanah? Because the symbolism of the New Year is all about how the Jewish People's relationship with God is like a marriage that is being renewed and celebrated once again. As the New Year begins tonight –through our music, our festive meals, the sound of the shofar and the prayers of forgiveness the marriage between God and the Jewish people is reaffirmed!

Marriage has always been an important aspect of Judaism. Family life has been at the core of maintaining the life of the Jewish people. When two people get married, they are creating a mishpacha—a family. Marriage takes two unrelated people and through solemn rite and vows –those two individuals are next of kin. When we state at a wedding—"I pronounce you legally married" we are declaring in that moment –that the two that stand under the chupah—under the wedding canopy—are a household and a family, a bayit v'mishpacha.

So too this High Holy Days our relationship with the Eternal Holy One becomes strengthened as we rebuild our covenant given at Sinai on a one to one basis. We are One—God and the Jewish People—united and clinging to one another. The mystics called this opportunity to be one with God-devkut.

The word for marriage in Hebrew is Kiddushin. It comes from the word for holiness or sanctity —kadosh. The very name of the marriage ceremony as kiddushin—tells the world—that the solemn rites of marriage are sacred. Tradition teaches us that God is present at every wedding and that the home that the couple makes together is mkdash m'at—is like a small version of the ancient Temple—the very dwelling place of the Holy One on earth! In the relationship between loving partners—we find the essence of the Eternal Holy One. By use of the word Kiddushin—marriage also has the connotation of separate and distinct. We are reminded that the couple pledges that they are separated out from all others—exclusively and this relationship is based upon holiness. So too tonight and through the next Ten Days of Repentance and onward to Sukkot and Simchat Torah—we Jews reassert the idea that our holiness come from God "You shall be holy because Adonai is Holy" (Lev. 19:1) and we read this from the Torah on Yom Kippur afternoon and our relationship as the Jewish people to God has a sacred dimension and sacred bonds.

The chupah—or wedding canopy symbolizes both the home that the couple will make and that the presence of God is at the wedding ceremony. The canopy—open at its sides teaches us of the openness of Abraham and Sarah's tent—welcoming with great hospitality sojourners that they met on their way. This home that the couple stands in at the moment of their marriage speaks to us that it is the people inside that are the most important aspect, not the trappings.

Another important part of the Jewish marriage ceremony is the ketubah—the Jewish wedding document. There are ketubot that date back more than 2500 years! The ketubah is mentioned in the Talmud and in the writings of the greatest Jewish teachers, including Maimonides and Rashi. In days of old this was a contract that provided the bride with security. It documented not only what she brought into the marriage but the obligations of the husband to the wife and what she would take away from the marriage in case of divorce or death of her husband. This is still the case in traditional ketubot. Today the contemporary language we often use reflects the promises, vows and shared values of the couple. It is literally their covenant of marriage, their brit, and helps to further bind and tie the couple's soul and hearts together. But this covenant is at the heart of the wedding. It reminds us of the covenant we made with God at Mt. Sinai. It is this, embodied in the Torah, which links us on this day—with our ancestors. Just as the shofar sounded at Sinai, the Shofar sounds on this Rosh Hashanah day to remind us of the covenantal promises and vows we made!

The next part of the wedding ceremony is the sheva brachot—or seven wedding blessings—this is made over a cup of wine or grape juice—the second cup in the wedding ceremony. There are seven blessings one for each day of creation. These seven blessings were traditionally part of the nisuin—the second half. The word nisuin comes from the word for elevated—and with the seven wedding blessing the couple is elevated in the eyes of all who are gathered as witnesses. Just as on this New Year's Day we too are lifted up and elevated to be closer to the Holy One of Blessing and draw near when we have fallen away. We are elevated and drawn close to the Jewish People once again.
The sheva brachot—includes the blessing over wine, and 6 other blessings that teach the couple profound messages of hope and commitment. The hope is that they will recognize the bounty of their relationship, that the bounty comes from God and that their relationship, their marriage has the potential to bring goodness, laughter, and joy to the whole world. Through their relationship and the mitzvot they fulfill—redemption and a time of healing will be known through out the world. These are big expectations of any newly married couple! But the idea that this couple—each couple has the power within their marriage to effect positive growth and change upon themselves and upon the world is surely a message of hope and faith! The final blessing recognizes that we all hope to celebrate with joy and rejoicing with the couple.

At this season of Rosh Hashanah it is especially important to familiarize ourselves with the customs and traditions of Jewish marriage. Because this holy Season of renewal is connected to marriage in a very strong way. Seven weeks ago—on Tisha B'Av the ninth of the month of Av—we Jews observed a fast day; a day of special mourning for the destruction of the ancient temples in Jerusalem. We mourned for the first Temple destroyed by the Babylonians in 596 and then the second Temple—rebuilt by Herod-destroyed in the year 70 by the Romans. Tisha B'av is also known as the day the Inquisition from Spain began in 1492 and many other dire moments in Jewish history and so we lament them all on this day.

Tradition teaches that our special covenant and relationship with God was torn asunder on that day—not because the Babylonians and Romans destroyed the Temple—but rather through our own action or in this case inaction. The first temple was destroyed because of idolatry. We Jews just would not resist the temptation to substitute idols for our God. And the second Temple was destroyed according to Jewish tradition because of the sin of sinat chinam— baseless, senseless hatred of another Jew. We didn't honor and respect and treat one another with kindness. And because of these two sins—the Temple was destroyed two times and God got so upset with us that God separated from us. It was not a divorce –but it was clearly a legal separation.

Over the last seven weeks since Tisha B'av, the Jewish people and God have been trying to reconcile and rebuild their relationship. Each week the haftarah portion that is read on Shabbat –echoes a new theme that helps renews and rebuilds our relationship. The month of Elul that follows Av and is the last month of the Jewish calendar teaches us about this courtship between God and the Jewish people. The rabbis teach us that the very name of the month of Elul—is an acronym—for the phrase from the Song of Songs, Ani L'Dodi V'Dodi Li, I am my beloved and my beloved is mine:referring to God and the Jewish people. The Rabbis taught that the book in the Bible, the Song of Songs, was a love poem between God and the Jewish people. This book of our Tanach describes not the relationship between a shepherd and his lover but rather the passionate love story between the Holy One of Blessing and each one of us.

This culminates today on Rosh Hashanah—when we come face to face with having to make the decision to be together—to save our marriage between God and the Jewish people. We even read about the marital problems in the household of Abraham and Sarah in our Torah portion tomorrow morning. We sound the shofar to wake us up not only to the New Year –but to the fact that our relationship with God can be put on a new and clean path—that through teshuvah, u'tefilah u'tzedakah—repentance and turning, prayer and charity we might avert the evil decree—which is not a sentence passed up on us—but rather the evil decree would be a decree of divorcement. It says in the book of Jeremiah, "Because rebel Israel had committed adultery, I cast her off and handed her a bill of divorce;" (Jer. 3:8). The book of Isaiah teaches, "Thus said Adonai, "Where is the bill of divorce of our mother whom I dismissed" (Is. 50:1).
One way we can understand this season—of the High Holy Days is that in relationship to Tisha B'Av –it is in our power—to avert the severity of the decree—by our repentance and recommitment to our sacred covenant with God we will avert the divorce—the withdrawal of the Divine and Holy from our people and our lives.

For the next Ten Days—during this Season of Repentance and Sacred Introspection—we are called upon to examine the fabric of our lives and the relationships that we have. We certainly examine our relationship with the Divine. And we must examine our relationship with the people in our lives—our spouses, friends, children, co-workers; our family members, neighbors and even the checker at the grocery store.
We know when we have walked away, when we have lashed out in anger, and when we have been less than kind. We know when we have cheated on ourselves and others. Our central job during the first 10 days of this New Year is to right any wrongs—and set ourselves on a new course for the New Year. Our job is to heal our relationships with one another and with God. The New Year arrives to help the Jewish People and God fall in love again! Yes, we can discover a New Beginning.

And this is what is so powerful and beautiful about Jewish tradition—we believe that you can be forgiven and you can work to heal those relationships in your life. Just as on this Rosh Hashanah Day – God and the Jewish People take a chance on love again – so you in your life can take a chance to build meaningful relationships with those in your family and friendship circles.

On this day the shofar sounds to announce a love story—a marriage is to take place once again—that the Jewish people and God will uphold their covenant with one another—even as they strive to seek forgiveness for the hurts incurred in this past year.

Today is Yom HaZikaron—Day of Remembrance, the prophet Jeremiah teaches us "Go proclaim to Jerusalem: Thus said Adonai; I accounted to your favor the devotion of your youth, the love of your espousal, how you followed Me in the wilderness in a land not our own" (Jeremiah. 2:2). God remembers us as we were in our devotion at Sinai and today we try to recapture the feeling of being close with God. This Yom HaZikaron, This Rosh Hashanah is for remembering that we can rebuild trust in our relationships, trust in God and most importantly knowing the dark side of our own souls—that we can rebuild faith and hope in ourselves and in the future.

The Midrash teaches us
Marriage comes in three forms: The singular marriage, the twosome marriage and the three-dimensional marriage.
In the singular marriage, one individual is dominated and consumed by the other party. The ego of one swallows up the partner's existence.
In the twosome marriage, each partner preserves his/her distinctions, making their marriage an exercise in argumentation, divisiveness and strife.
Then there is marriage in its true sense – the three-dimensional marriage, where two individual people join to create a third reality – a life together.
That is why the Torah was given in the third month of the Jewish calendar, the month of Sivan: The purpose of Torah is to create a three-dimensional marriage between God and and world.
On This Rosh Hashanah, at this season of Discovering New Beginnings, we too can create a three dimensional marriage between God and The Jewish people by our own approach to life. Let us pray that this High Holy Day Season –you will be able to open your own hearts to build trust and hope in something bigger than yourself. That you will be able to repair relationships that have been harmed and be forgiven for errors of judgments and hurts incurred along the path of life. And that you will find the grace and humor, beauty, humility, flexibility, gentleness, strength and compassion to forgive others. These are the qualities that make for a good marriage and we wish them to you and to all those who have so joyously walked down the path to a new beginning by marrying in recent weeks and months.

So tonight –in celebration of this New Year—I want to invite all the couples who have gotten married since last Rosh Hashanah forward. Gay and straight and all those couples who will marry before the Nov. election. For on this Yom HaZikaron—Day of Remembrance-you help us to remember that the relationships we make and make holy –are similar to the relationship we build with the Holy One of Blessing. You extend your hand and say "Walk with Me down the path of life! Just as we say on this Rosh Hashanah Day Holy One of Blessing, Walk With Me into the hope of the New Year.

And we ask a blessing upon your home and family-....
Walk with me into the woods
Leave the edge of the forest behind;
Come deep into the green
until the shafts of
sunlight are lost.
Feel the stillness of
the center.
Walk with me to the top
Of the hill.
Leave the broad pat
behind.
Up-up beyond where
the trees grow.
Hear the quiet of
the heights.
Walk with me into
this New Year-
Into its demands
Into its joys
Into the clamor of
its unfolding
Walk alone
each on your own right
path
With the echoes of the
blasts of the shofar
With the stillness of the
center
With the help of our God.

Posted by Eric at September 29, 2008 10:03 AM