Kol Nidre 5765, by Rabbi Denise L. Eger

THE JEWISH VERSION OF EXTEME MAKEOVER

Shana Tovah.

Yom Kippur is our chance to start over and start again, renew ourselves and renew our lives. This is no small task. And of course we live in a city infamous for people making themselves out to be something that they aren’t! But as some of us age—as the gray peaks through and the wrinkles begin to show, a makeover doesn’t seem all that bad. It certainly is the rage. Everyone seems to be making him or herself over. Certainly our student Rabbi spoke about some possibilities on Rosh Hashanah.

There is the story of the Yemenite Jew who arrived in Israel in 1948. In Yemen, if an Arab walked on the sidewalk, the Jew had to walk on the street so he'd be lower. If an Arab rode on a horse, the Jew had to ride on a donkey. In Tel Aviv he walked into a tall building and saw an elderly lady enter the elevator. A couple of minutes later he saw a young lady walk out of the same elevator. Immediately he ran home, grabbed his wife, brought her to the building and shoved her into the elevator.

He thought his wife could have an extreme makeover.

In 1948 they didn’t have what we have today—from botox to body sculpting—if only the Yemenite Jew had those! He could make his wife new again and he could make himself over from top to bottom.

Instead of shoving her in an elevator –maybe he could have sent her on one of the many television shows—and out she would have come—new teeth, new hair, new nose, face, bosom and bottom. Really a different person than he married!

With more than 8.7 million people having some procedure in 2003, up 33 percent from the year prior, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, its no wonder that these shows are very popular. Rising consumer interest in nose jobs and brow lifts has translated into hit reality shows like Fox's The Swan and ABC's Extreme Makeover.

And of course it hasn’t stopped there and it’s not for women alone, Straight men have Queer Eye for the Straight Guy—remaking both body and home. There is wardrobe advice on Lifetime, Surprise Gardner for outdoor landscaping makeovers, Housing makeovers with Xtreme Makeover: Home Edition and my personal favorite on MTV—Pimp My Ride—A makeover for the jalopy of the week. Because in Los Angeles we are what we drive!

Indeed there are makeovers for everything.

Well tonight and tomorrow is our Jewish time for a makeover.

In our world today there is so much emphasis on changing the outside—our hair and teeth, nose and brow, clothes and couch and car that little time is spent on the stuff that really matters. Changing the heart and soul—changing our behaviors and misdeeds to living lives of values and holiness.

Judaism would say these are the values that matter.

Tonight on Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur we have a chance to change. We have a chance to make fundamental changes in our lives and turn ourselves through teshuvah –around.

You might say Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur are our version of the Extreme Makeover. In the next 26 hours you will have the chance to examine your thoughts and words, deeds and actions—you will have the chance to confess your transgressions and seek forgiveness from God and others. And you will emerge better than any swan. You will emerge purified for a year of holiness and sweetness.

On Rosh Hashanah Eve, I spoke about the universal. Rosh Hashanah was dedicated to values of Tzedek and Tikkun Olam—Justice and Healing the world. Rosh Hahanah was about the Universal values of our tradition. Rosh Hashanah was dedicated to living Jewish values in a universal way.

Tonight as we begin the Yom Kippur Holy Day—we move from the universal to the particular. We move from the world at large to our world within. We move from the outer world, to the Jewish world and in particular on this Kol Nidre night—the mysterious world inside each and every one of us. Yom Kippur helps us to makeover that which we have fouled in the past year.

Yom Kippur—Day of Atonement—helps us look within. We go inside to examine our thoughts and behaviors, actions, deeds and words of the past year. We look at our relationships and the way we acted. We examine our errors, mistakes, and transgressions and yes, sins and offer them up to God for expiation and cleansing. Our mysterious lives are to be laid out before us and we are to try and make some sense of ourselves. Our fast, which begins tonight –helps us to clear our spirits from the stuff that has clogged our souls all year long. Our confessions tonight and tomorrow, the penance that we shall do together, and the sincere efforts to turn our lives around will change the quality of our being, and in the end change our world.

Our Yom Kippur—Day of Atonement is part of that fine balance we spoke about on Rosh Hashanah Eve—the balance between the universal and the particular—the world at large and the world within. That is why our theme this year has been about shleymut—wholeness. And you notice the logo Shin. Lamed, Mem—on the wall—the root for shalom, peace and shleymut wholeness. Together this season—Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is about wholeness.

In truth, our tradition has been preparing us for the last month to make these changes in our selves and to seek wholeness. Since the beginning of the month of Elul, the Jew is to begin her Selichot prayers, prayers of contrition and forgiveness. The Jew is supposed to confess his sins to God and to set right the relationships that he harmed in the past. For the 30 days of Elul and the 10 days of Tishrei—until tonight –we count 40 days and nights of examining our souls. We are to have been doing the tough work of Cheshbon Hanefesh—taking an accounting of the soul. It is no mere coincidence that there are 40 days and 40 nights of preparation for Yom Kippur. For the number forty in Jewish tradition is the redemptive number. Deliverance comes to Israel when Moses stayed 40 days and nights on Mt. Sinai to receive the Torah. The People Israel experienced a new found freedom when they accepted the covenant. So too, for the cleansing rains in Noah’s time—40 days and nights of rain to cleanse the world and redeem it from the evil that persisted. And So too for us… 40 days and nights to cleanse ourselves from any iniquity, any vice that lives inside of us. This time has been if you will a Jewish version of detox.

And then on the 40th day—Yom Kippur day, we are cleansed, healed and reborn—new and fresh for the New Year.

In the inspiring words of my friend and colleague, Rabbi Harold Schulweis, one of the great rabbis and teachers of our generation:

"The last word has not been spoken,
the last sentence has not been written,
the final verdict is not in.

It is never too late
To change my mind,
My direction,
To say no to the past
And yes to the future,
To offer remorse,
To ask and give forgiveness.
It is never too late
To start over again,
To feel again
To love again
To hope again.
It is never too late
To overcome despair
To turn sorrow into resolve
And pain into purpose.
It is never too late to alter my world,
Not by magic incantations
Or manipulations of the cards
Or deciphering the stars.
But by opening myself
To curative forces buried within,
To hidden energies,
The powers in my interior self."

On this Yom Kippur—our makeover is to open ourselves to our hidden energies, the power in our interior selves and alter forever, the despair, anger, and hurt that have caused us harm and have caused us to harm others.

Yom Kippur comes to teach us that today can be different than yesterday. And tomorrow—we can soar to even new heights.

The prayers we say, the connections we make on this sacred night and day of Yom Kippur—can transform us in the most beneficial ways. On Yom Kippur, if we truly examine our inner life—then we can admit to ourselves what is hard to say aloud, that we messed up. That we weren’t as ethical as we could have been, that we shaved corners—that we did wrong—but now we are committed to doing right. These admissions can teach us a new way of being in the world. These admissions said with humility, recognizing our human frailty—help us conquer the part of ourselves that never admits failure that can do no wrong. As Robert Frost put it, “ Something we were withholding made us weak/until we found that it was ourselves…” Yom Kippur can help us get ourselves out of our own way.

The Yom Kippur makeover can make us see ourselves and yes, the world through a different set of eyes—with clearer focus—and with sharper images of our role in the world. Yom Kippur is our great teacher. That if we do our examination, and free ourselves of the guilt of the last year, the shame we brought on ourselves, we might see ourselves differently and might even act differently when faced with the same situation in the future.

For that is the test of teshuvah—of true repentance in Judaism. Not to commit the raw errors of the past again and again. As the great Chasidic Rabbi Baruch once said: What a good and bright world this is if we do not lose our hearts to it, but what a dark world, if we do!” (Everyday Miracles, p.271) True teshuvah helps us not lose our hearts to the world. True teshuvah helps us uplift our hearts to God. This Yom Kippur can be the year of your makeover—the year you let go of the old ways—and make the new and holy a daily part of your life. It will bring healing and miracles to you—just as it did for Rabbi Abba –

The Power of Forgiveness: A Zohar Legend

Rabbi Abba (the scribe of the Zohar, the book of the kabbalah) once sat at the gateway of the Town of Lud. He saw a traveler sit down on a pile of rocks at the edge of a mountain overlooking a cliff. The man was exhausted for his journey and immediately fell asleep. R. Abba watched this innocuous scene for a bit until to his dismay he watched as a deadly snake slithered out of the rocks making its way towards to the sleeping man. [R. Abba, who for some reason was immobilized and transfixed by this unfolding drama,] suddenly watched as a new turn of events happened. All of a sudden, there by the sleeping man, a giant lizard jumped out between the rocks and killed the serpent.

R. Abba continued watching and saw that the man stood up and was perplexed to see a beheaded snake lying in front of him. He quickly gathered his possessions and rose to continue his journey. At that instant the pile of rocks he was sitting on collapsed and fell into the ravine below.

The man was about to wander off when R. Abba ran after him and recounted everything he had witnessed. R. Abba asked the man, "My friend to what do you attribute all these miracles that just transpired?"

The traveler at first did not want to be bothered but felt the sincerity of R. Abba's question and confided in him. "Throughout my life I have never let a person harm me, where I did not pacify him. Never have I gone to sleep without forgiving someone for hurting me in any way. Anyone who would hurt me would I endeavor, with all my heart, to resolve whatever animosity was between us. And lastly, I would turn the hateful situation to doing acts of kindness for the person involved in the misunderstanding."

When R. Abba heard this he burst into tears. This person's actions were greater than our patriarch Joseph. For Joseph had to deal with his brothers; of course he was going to forgive his brothers. But this man forgives anyone and everyone who has harmed him. It is no surprise that God performs miracles on a daily basis for this blessed man. (Maasiyot HaZohar Vol. 1 P.169 Miketz P. 201B) Each day is a new day—a pure day—without hate and hurt without resentment and grudges. That alone Is a miracle!

So too—miracles can come to us—all it takes is a commitment to make these changes—changes for the good—to forgive, to put the past away. A makeover –a new you for a new year.

The great Israeli poet—Leah Goldberg—born in Lithuania in 1911 was a Hebrew poet and student of literature who is considered one of Israel’s classics poets. She spoke seven languages and was one of the greatest translators of foreign literature into Hebrew. She wrote many beautiful poems full of longing and sometimes lonliness. She wrote of the beauty of the land of Israel and of nature.

She encapsulates for us—the spirit of this makeover day—Yom Kippur—Lamdeini Elohai Bareich v’htpallel—Teach me my God, to wonder to marvel at the mystery of the withering leaf, at the luster of the ripening fruit. At the freedom to live, to feel, to breathe, to know, to hope, to stumble. Teach my lips words of blessing and songs of praise as you give me the time to live at morning and night –That my day today be different from those that came before. That my day today be not an ordinary day.

That is our prayer—on this Kol Nidre Night—the this night—this day—of atonement, forgiveness, healing, and cleansing be a new day—not an ordinary day—and that each of our days—be different, be better, than those that came before.

Then will the miracle of the makeover occur—the miracle of healing from the inside out—to reach a new year—of holiness, love, and blessing.
Ken yehi ratzon—so may it be God’s will.

Posted by Lee at September 28, 2004 01:00 PM