HISTORY, MEMORY AND COMMUNITY - YIZKOR 5770

Tucked away in a residential neighborhood of Tel Aviv is a small cemetery with some 5,000 graves. Behind high walls, the graves and their markers are a jumble of history and families. The grave sites are often so close together that you have to turn sideways to walk between them. The headstones are of every shape and size and many predate the existence of the state of Israel. The cemetery is still in use today. But there are very few actual burial places left.

There are several memorials to those who were murdered in riots during the 1920’s in Jaffa by Arab extremists and other memorials to those who gave their lives in defense of the State of Israel. Many of the head stones are in disrepair, only now being worked on by the city of Tel Aviv. Some are so worn that they can hardly be read having succumbed to earthquakes in 1927 and 1943.

But it is a place of great beauty and sublime meaning. And on this Yom Kippur afternoon I want to share with you some of my thoughts that rose up in me upon visiting this holy place.

Buried in the Trumpeldor Cemetery, named for the great champion of Zionism, Joseph Trumpeldor (although he is not buried there) are some of Israel’s and Zionism’s greatest heroes and heroines. Israel’s and early Zionism’s great poets and writers, artists and musicians, war heroes and politicians and everyday people are buried behind these high walls. This cemetery is also lovingly called the “Cemetery of Streets” because so many famous and important people are buried there that many of the streets of Tel Aviv and around the country are named for them. As Barbara Mann writes in her book A Place in History about this cemetery, “It is a virtual mapping of modern Hebrew culture. The site of the cemetery, as well as its fragmentary, textual history, may be read as exemplary of Tel Aviv’s own understanding of itself, as well as tensions between secular and religious civic institutions, conflicts that still permeate Israel’s cultural and political spheres.”[i]

As I walked among the graves on a hot Friday afternoon with my cousin David before Shabbat, I was struck by the richness of history and memory there. Over there is buried Meir Diezengoff and his wife—the first mayor of Tel Aviv. And over there is Menachim Shenkin a delegate to the first World Zionist Congress in Basel Switzerland and instrumental in the founding of Tel Aviv. And now Sheinkin is the hippest street of cafes and galleries.

There in the large mass grave commemorating those who died in that Arab riot in the 20’s is Yosef Haim Brenner one of the great Hebrew writers of the early part of the 20th century. And in a simple grave with simple marker is Avigdor Ben Gurion—yes, David Ben Gurion’s father who made aliyah 1925. David Ben Gurion came in 1906. Many members of Etzel one of the early groups fighting the British in Palestine during the mandate years are buried in that cemetery including Shternglass off the main sidewalk and Yehosua Safan opposite the upper southern gate. And the main architect of the Hagana and later the Palmach, Israel’s early defense forces, was Eliyahu Golomb. He too was a delegate to early World Zionist Congresses.

The founder of Israel’s space program Yoval Neuman is buried there along with Shoshana Demari one of Israel’s greatest singers who because she was Yemenite and very dark skinned was once denied entrance to South Africa. Her song Kalaniyot-Anemones is alluded to as the flowers are built into her headstone. Reuven Rubin who designed scenery for theaters, was Israel’s first ambassador to Romania and was one of Israel’s most famous painters is buried near her. Writer Efraim Kishon is buried there as is Devora Baron who wrote short stories winning a Bialik prize for her prose and was the first child born in Tel Aviv. Saul Tchernikowsky the great Hebrew poet and writers Nachum Gutman and Zalman Shneur are found there.

One of the most famous residents is Max Nordau. Nordau was one of the Zionist leaders who in 1899 at the second Zionist Congress in Basel convinced Theodor Herzl to reject Great Britian’s offer to solve the Jewish question by settling Uganda as a Jewish Homeland rather than Palestine. And thus the push for a Jewish homeland in our natural and historically Promised Land land-Eretz Yisrael was concretized even further. Nordau died in Paris in 1923 but was reinterred in this cemetery in Palestine in 1926. They had to widen the middle gate of the cemetery to make room for his coffin. His Mausoleum, the only one in the cemetery, played an important role in the founding of the state of Israel. Members of the Irgun (Etzel) would train teenagers in the handling of weapons inside. In 1941 my cousin David’s friend “Joe Katzenberg would enter the mausoleum at night, cover the two small windows and train by candle light, away from the eyes of British soldiers. When they finished they would hide their armaments under loose grave slabs. ”[ii]

The great Israeli sculptor, Abraham Melnikov created several of the beautiful head stones that grace the Trumpeldor cemetery including Bezalel Yaffe also a delegate to the first World Zionist Congress called by Herzl and his daughter Esther Pire who was a beauty queen; Rubin Navuminiski who owned a potash factory and the several others.

Moshe Sharett, Israeli Politician and statesman, has a most interesting marker. Sharett, a former prime minister and Zionist leader, it reads like a cv or resume. More than 250 words of epitaph describe his life. He became prime minister on Ben Gurion’s temporary retirement but when Ben Gurion returned to the position, Sharett continued as foreign minister but later resigned over differences with Ben Gurion. Sharett’s marker continues to list his achievements as part of his running feud with Ben Gurion. Sharett died in 1965!

But for me the most poignant of stories is told by the proximity of the graves of two of the Jewish peoples greatest writers. Buried in the Trumpeldor cemetery is none other than Ahad Ha-am. His marker also by sculptor Melnikov, is a simple pillar with his name inscribed. No glowing epitaphs, no quotes from his writings. Ahad Ha-Am whose name was Asher Zvi Hirsch Ginsburg died in Palestine in 1927. He was an important Jewish essayist who wrote extensively about the revival of Hebrew and Jewish culture and Palestine as the center of that culture –the future Israel. His was the father of spiritual Zionism- of culture and learning rather than the political Zionism of Herzl.

Buried at the foot of his grave is that of Chaim Nahman Bialik. Bialik is one of the Jewish people’s greatest poets, Zionism’s poet Laureate and essayist and created one of the greatest collections of our people’s legends and stories, in Sefer Agadah. He collected and edited the poems of Spanish Jewish philosopher and poet ibn Gibirol. He edited journals and established one of the greatest Hebrew publishing houses Moriah-translating European masterworks into Hebrew such as Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, Don Quixote, and William Tell until it was closed by the Communists and later the scientific journal and publishing house Dvir. Bialik wrote in Hebrew helping to revive the Hebrew language and became Israel’s national poet. We still read his and teach his moving poetry today.

Bialik was influenced greatly by Ahad Ha-Am’s writings and his friendship. They shared the same literary circle in Europe and Ahad Ha-Am published Bialik’s first essay in 1889. Ahad Ha-Am was Bialik’s great teacher. And it was Bialik who eulogized his teacher at his funeral. Now even in death, many years from their passing we are still learning from these teachers and from all those buried in this cemetery and in truth in any Jewish cemetery around the world.

Each grave, each marker is that of a person. Who lived and who died. Who during their lifetime added to the rhythms of our universe and our people. In the Trumpeldor cemetery in Tel Aviv, the leaders of early Zionism and early Israel along with her poets and singers and scientists make a sacred community that communed not only in life but still do in death. Their pains and disagreements, their admiration and love for one another as part of the community of Jewish People resonate with us at this Yizkor hour. For at Yizkor we center on the idea of memorial and memory. We remember our own loved ones. And bring to mind their foibles and successes, the arguments and love, their laughter and their tears, their impact on our lives.

Just as Bialik is buried with his wife at the foot of Ahad Ha-Am- they are as close in death as they were in life. “To Ahad Ha-am” (1903) Bialik wrote: “Accept our blessing, Teacher, our loyal blessing/ For all that we have learned and will learn from you.”[iii] We too at this Yizkor hour bring close in our lives the memories of our beloved dead. And we say a blessing for their teachings both the examples they set for us and the floods of memories that rush to us on this holy day. Whether we think of mom or dad, lover or child, aunt or grandparent, dear friend or even the cat or dog who was our companion in life, the memories we have on this day at this hour bring a kinship of community. Just as the walk through a cemetery can bring back a community of another era—so too our Yizkor time is a walk through a community that once existed. It is a community of our family and friends who touched us; who loved us and needed us. It is a community of people who we mourn for and cry for and yes, yearn to see once again. And our tears fall freely at this hour at the thought of them- as their youthful faces stare back in our minds eye or their craggy wrinkles if they were blessed with long life. But like a photograph etched inside we see them so clearly on this day at this hour. Our hope at this Yizkor service and the three others that we hold during the year at Simchat Torah, Pesach and Shavuot is that no season of our lives is complete without the memory of them near us. Just as Bialik in death still remains close to Ahad Ha-Am, Yizkor helps us to remain close to our loved ones who have died whether this year or in many years gone by.

So on this Yom Kippur afternoon as we ourselves prepare to be renewed for a new year of life. We bless the lives of those who have died in previous years and months and weeks. We bless them with our memory of them. We bless them as we chant the El Maleh and say Kaddish for them. We bless the many remembrances of them and pledge to do goodness and charity in their memory.

There is so much we mourn for in our lives. We mourn for those who have died, for dreams unfulfilled, for relationships broken. We mourn through our tears that which we cannot grasp. We mourn for that which has proven too elusive in our lives. And this too is part of our Yizkor today. Today, how we pray that the resurrection and promise of Yom Kippur will renew within each of us for the year to come a chance: a chance for our memories and our opportunities to be in communion with one another; a chance, a second chance to be remembered. A chance that the community we have built together will remember us as we have remembered our loved ones who have died. This Yizkor hour is the pledge of that promise of a time of memorial and a time of community.

As Bialik wrote, After my death mourn me thus. There is a man and see, he is no more, Before his time his life was ended And the song of his life was broken O, he had one more melody, and now that melody is lost forever, Lost forever; Let this Yizkor hour of history, memory and community remind us that we too have the chance in both death and life to make our song heard. That through these recollections the melody is not forgotten. That we are not lost forever in the community of Israel. Nor are the memories we cherish and we together help keep these ideals and community alive. Amen Amen

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[i] Mann, Barbara, A Place in History: Modernism, Tel Aviv and the Creation of Jewish Urban Space, Stanford University Press, 2006 : 34.

[ii] From unpublished manuscript of Dr. David Chamowitz on the Trumpeldor Cemetery.

[iii] “Le-Ahad ha-am”, Ch. N. Bialik: Collected Poems 1899-1934, Critical edition ed. by Dan Miron et al.: 149.

Rabbi Denise L. Eger
Congregation Kol Ami
Yizkor 5770
Rabbi@kol-ami.org
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SPEAKING OURSELVES INTO TRANSCENDENCE - YOM KIPPUR MORNING 5770

Around this season a few years back, a former colleague of mine, Rabbi Shmulie Greene burst into my office with a huge smile beneath his scraggly beard and exclaimed, “I’m SO excited for Yom Kippur! – It’s almost here, Happy Yom Kippur!” Happy Yom Kippur? I was confused: “Happy” isn’t always the first word that comes to mind when I think about the day in which our tradition states that God determines whether or not we will be written in the book of life. I’ve heard Yom Kippur described as a somber day, a day of reckoning and reconciling. A day of remembering and of forgiving and of atoning, of beating our chests and not eating. A very serious day – But happy?

None of this seems particularly jovial. Which is why it is strange that the rabbis actually listed Yom Kippur as one of the two happiest days of the year in the commentary we call the Mishnah. Either this means that Jewish people are a miserable bunch, or we have an opportunity to challenge our paradigms of what today represents. This is the power that even a single word, such as happy, offers us – the chance to re-create that which we experience year after year. So, today, I invite you for a few moments to delve into the more uplifting aspects of this day, to see what we might find.

After I questioned his exuberance, Rabbi Shmulie explained the happiness of this day. In his view, Yom Kippur represents the point in our calendar year when each one of us is granted a clean, fresh slate. Instead of experiencing Yom Kippur only as a time of looking backwards, as our last chance to ask forgiveness and get ourselves into the book of life for another year, he explained that we can also use today to reflect on letting go of the previous year, leaving it in the past, and entering into this new year with lightened shoulders, a fresh breath of air, and an open heart and mind. Instead of feeling bad about how miserably we’ve failed, we can view all our “Al chet’s,” all of our confessions, as declarations of how we will make this next year better than the previous one for ourselves and those around us – they become our vision statements for a new chapter in life.

While listening to Rabbi Shmulie’s description of Yom Kippur, I found my mind wandering towards computers, of all things, as a way to understand what he was saying. When our computers run for too long and we open too many programs, they slow down, freeze more often, and generally make us want to throw them out of windows. When this happens, we need to take a deep breath, re-start the computer, let it boot up again, and start-off fresh and ready to run new programs. Isn’t it always an incredible feeling to get back to using a smoothly running computer where there was once a screen displaying the frozen “hourglass of ineptitude” or the “spinning beachball of obstinacy” for Mac users? Well, Yom Kippur is our restart button – our chance to take a step back, let go of the routines that were tying us down, and step forward as the people we want to become, re-creating ourselves and our communities anew. This is the gift of Yom Kippur –the chance to shift our mindsets, transcend what has been and imagine what can be. It sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?

Before we get too carried away, Yom Kippur is no magic cure for all our problems. Afterall, if we go back to using our computers in the same, exact ways as we did before our restarts, we end up in the same quagmire of getting bogged down by that which we are trying to escape (or ctrl-alt-delete). And so each of us has the chance to answer the question: what am I going to do with my re-start? On the meta-level, in order for Yom Kippur to become the happy day that Rabbi Greene spoke of, we have to work for it and reflect on how to keep that which is working well for us and, more importantly, how to break the habits that have led us to fall short of who we wanted to be.

In essence, Yom Kippur urges us to re-create ourselves and our community. And what better year to do this than now, as we celebrate the 18th anniversary of Kol Ami – our chai year, our year of life? This Yom Kippur is our opportunity to breathe new life into our community, so that we can continue to thrive for another 18 years and beyond. But how do we do this? What guides our way? Where do we start?

In a few minutes, we will have the opportunity to listen to the haftarah portion for this day, from Isaiah Chapters 57-58. This prophetic book asks – “Is this the point of our fast - to sit and suffer so that God will heed the noise of our rumbling stomachs?” It answers with an emphatic “No.” Rather, we are compelled to seek transcendence – to rise above and help change the ills of our community and our world. I want to focus on two verses within this call to action that we, as a community, can use as a starting point in our own re-start and re-creation. In chapter 58, verses 9-10, God compels us to use our fasts in order to “banish the yoke from our midst, The menacing hand, and evil speech, 10 And to offer compassion to the hungry And to satisfy the famished creature — [upon doing this] shall our light shine in darkness, And our gloom shall be like noonday.”

On the surface level, we could see this as a commentary on helping those who are hungry and homeless – which are certainly big issues that plague our city. And these are gravely important tasks, especially in our economic times.

However, I want to squeeze out a little additional meaning from these verses toady, and allow them to inform two concrete ways in which we can start immediately transcending last year and building stronger “us-es.” And they both have to do with how we use our words from today on as a means towards making this Yom Kippur a happy day – a day of transcendence.

1) Step one, for the rest of the day, at the very least, I want to invite us all to refrain from speaking negatively to and about others and ourselves. It is very easy for us to fall into the trap of tearing down with our words. Any of us who have received intense, unfair criticism, been subjected to hateful or abusive words, or have been strongly disrespected through the words spoken by someone else know that while sticks and stones may break our bones, words can tear our souls. Being conscious of how often and how easily we slip into such destructive use of our words is critical to our ability to reframe our relationships and even our self-esteem. Let us fast from negativity, and allow this to be a first step in a process of using our words to build up, more often than we use them to tear-down.

In the story of creation, God used words in order to create the world, speaking each day’s addition into existence. And at the end of each day, God said, “And it was good.” God did not say, “And it was alright – the flamingos necks looked a little funny and the rhinoceros horns ended up too short.” We too create with our words. We can bolster peoples’ worlds with our words, or we can tear them apart. The choice is ours, so let us choose more often to build than destroy. If we do, then we will “banish the yoke from our midst, The menacing hand, and evil speech,”

Step two, though is also connected to this passage from Isaiah. We are called upon to offer compassion to the hungry and to satisfy the famished. Well, there are times when each of us is hungry for compassion and famished for lack of kindness from others, particularly when we suffer from illness or losses in our lives or even when we have wonderful moments of celebration. At these times, words of support and sensitivity can lift up and heal our souls.

This summer, I visited a man in the hospital who told me that he had always taken it upon himself to call members of his congregation upon hearing of someone else’s illness or loss. He did so out of a sense of duty, just thinking it as a good thing to do. He never thought about what it really meant until he was the one in the hospital for 2 ½ weeks, all just after his grandchild was born. Every hour in the hospital was an hour delay in getting to fly out to meet his newest family member. While the waiting was agonizing for him, he was floored at what it was like to be on the other side of the experience. He was flooded with emails, calls and visits. People he knew, and people he didn’t know – it did not matter to him, because he felt the strength of a community behind him – that there were people who were thinking of him when he was most starved for positive thoughts and hungry for human connection.

For this second step, I want to suggest that we use the healing power of our words to offer it up to those who need it. When we hear of someone who has lost a relative, see an announcement in our e-koleinu about someone who is suffering from an illness, or on the flip side is celebrating an incredible moment in life – let them know that we care – whether we know them or not. It takes very little effort to write a few words of condolence, of support, or of sympathy or of simchah in an email or to make a quick phone call. But even simple words become profound in this context, so profound that they can mean the world to someone who is in dire need. By doing so not only do we have the potential to re-create ourselves, but our entire Kol Ami community, as well.

These two steps are just a start: fasting from negative speech and reaching out to those in our community who are most in need of some kind words. Should we desire truly blank slates, we each have additional work to do to search our own souls to determine the fresh starts that we each seek. And if you wish, to join me, this will be a part of what we do during our afternoon learning session.

Ultimately, our self-reflection alone will not improve the economy or end our wars. The world we walk back into through those doors will be more or less the same one that we left to come here. But internalizing this time as a truly fresh start for ourselves and our community offers us the chance to exert influence over that which we can control – re-creating our ways of approaching the world and one another, so that we can experience support and a sense of shared purpose, regardless of what the outside world throws at us. Doing so will allow us to achieve what our Isaiah text states – “then shall our light shine in darkness, and our gloom, our darkest times, shall be as bright as noon.”

With more careful use of our words, we will be able to re-fresh our relationships with others and re-create our own self-confidence. By more generous use of our words, we will bring new life that will light our way for the next 18 years of community here at Kol Ami. Doing so beginning on this very day will make this a truly happy Yom Kippur. May we each and as a collective make this a happy Yom Kippur and a transcendent 5770.

Ari Margolis
Congregation Kol Ami
Yom Kippur morning 5770
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BALANCING THE INSIDE AND THE OUTSIDE - KOL NIDRE 5770

What a year it has been! Since last Kol Nidre so much in our world is upside down. Last year we sat here as the market turmoil was raging. Bush was still president. The banks were getting a handout or bailout call it what you want. The depths of the Madoff scandal were just unfolding and marriage was still legal for gay men and lesbians.

And now a whole year later-we have lived through all kinds of crises. Jobs have come and gone and God willing we pray, come again. The markets still shake although they seem to be moving forward in a stronger position. The price of gas has gone through the roof and back down and up again and down. This morning I filled up in Norwalk for $2.93! Under 3 dollars for the first time in months The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan still press on. President Obama tries to make headway on healthcare reform even as Sen Baccus would threaten women’s reproductive health in his proposal. Prop 8 was upheld and we face continued opposition to marriage rites/rights for gay men and lesbians in California. And even Iowa has more equality than here! Even while Maine and Massachusetts are under attack. Our State of California has forsaken the promise of the California Dream with the debacle of our budget and many in this sanctuary look for health care and education help.

We are living in a time of crisis. We have lived with our world upended this past year with struggle and chaos and tumult enough for everyone. Some of you have lost jobs and homes: While others wait to rebuild portfolios and businesses. Our health is more fragile than ever.

We have lived with the myth of stability. And now that this year has swirled about us like the tohu’vavo, the chaos and void that preceded God’s creation of the universe, we’ve realized we lived on shifting sands.

This year’s multiplicities of crises have tested our souls. And many of us have had to re-evaluate our lives, changed the way we lived. We have had our assumptions torn apart and we have had to try a find a way to rebuild our ideals, our dreams and sometimes our lives. And some of us are still waiting to find hope again. We hold on tightly to our despair.

And we are here now on this Kol Nidre night to review our words and deeds and actions and pray that we can heal our souls for a new year of life. And yes, heal our lives. Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur come to teach us that whatever crisis we have faced—we must rebuild with an emphasis on living a life of meaning. We must rebuild and heal; finding a context for our lives. Finding hope to overcome our despair. Finding strength when we have let others take it from us. Finding faith in ourselves and the world around us and yes, in God. We pray that we can find some sure footing again with recognizable foundations and strong and safe and secure shelters. This night is meant to melt our hearts from the coldness and callousness that has set in during these difficult times.

Kol Nidre is a Jewish moment of existential angst and crisis. Who did I become last year? How did it affect me and how did I affect others? What was my relationship to myself, to my family and friends. And yes, To God—my Higher Power. The financial crisis brought with it tumult and recognition that we are subject to forces beyond our control. But in truth we are not in control and neither are the market forces—that too is a myth. Faith in God teaches us that while we indeed can make choices and can direct our actions and words, God and Divine Spirit – Holy Energy that is in you- is a force in our lives that can lift us to a higher plane beyond the tumult. The Divine Breath that fills you up can bring you to a place of calm and security even as the world moves so fast.

So on this Holy and Sacred night we ask -What is my potential now to forgive my own failings and to seek repentance for past actions, and to truly atone so that I can enter the New Year not on relying on the shifting dunes of culture or finances but on the strength of my own faith in the Eternal that can feed and uplifts my soul! How can I build a firm foundation beneath my feet even as the winds of change swirl about me? Can I truly make a confession on this holy day, a confession to God and to others that will help lift me up from the depths of despair? So that we can do as the Psalmist sings – I lift my eyes to the mountains. What is the source of my help? My help comes from Adonai maker of Heaven and Earth (Ps. 121).

On Yom Kippur our service is designed to help us make those confessions and heal our own souls. Yom Kippur is about helping us strengthen our own backbone. Yom Kippur is the time to restore our faith in God and others and perhaps most importantly- Yom Kippur comes to help restore faith in ourselves. And confession helps us move to a new place of strength. The liturgy has many kinds of confessions known as vidduim. There is the viddui zuta—the little confession which you know because we sing it and has an alphabetic acrostic—Ashamnu, Bagadnu...

And there is the great confession—or viddui Rabbah—which is the prayer that begins—Al Cheyt Shechetanu...that goes back to the Geonic period in the 9th century and became standardized in the Middle Ages. According to Scholar David Stern in the Talmud in Masechet Yoma 87b there is a listing of seven confessions for Yom Kippur. Five have made it into our liturgy. Plus the Al Cheyt and Ashamnu. These different confessionals help us find many different ways to plumb the errors of our ways and to clean out the muck that has clogged up our souls. Getting the problems, issues and errors off of our chests and out of our hearts, help us find a pure heart to engage others and God again. And most importantly engage our selves again and redirect our thoughts and deeds. These words we sing and pray tonight could actually help us take back our strength, feed our spirits and renew our coping skills. Make us really strong for this year.

In Jewish tradition there are other moments of existential angst and crisis besides Yom Kippur. Plenty enough for a Woody Allen film!

The day of our death is also a time for confession and forgiveness and affirming the one who can bring peace to the Soul—the holy one of Blessing. Like the closing moments tomorrow of our Neilah service, on our death beds we recite the viddui prayer—the great confessional. Yes-Judaism has last rites. Where do you think the Catholics got it from?

The bedside viddui differs from the one recite at Yom Kippur in that it is highly personal. Not couched in the communal "We have sinned" but is a confessional of the individual. Why bother to confess on our death beds? Is it only to attain a portion in the olam Ha-Bah-, the world to come?

I would answer no not at all. But it is to clear up relationships at those final moments. Just as we tell the comforters and the survivors to be clean in their relationships so to the one who is about to die. The Viddui near death, the confession near death helps you to right your relationships and create within a measure of peace and calm.

This same process of fasting and confession is used on the wedding day as well. Not only do we try to enter this holy state of kiddushin, of marriage pure from the mickveh-but we fast and recite the viddui prayer. A time we come face to face with who we have been and who we hope yet to be especially in realtionship to the one person who really transforms our heart and soul. And so we recite a viddui, a confessional so you can enter this new state of being, the state of kiddushin -of holy matrimony-with a pure heart and pure being. That is why both brides and grooms also go to the mickveh before to enter marriage in a state of spiritual purity. Also setting aside the past words and actions that didn't help us grow as human beings in a positive way, helps us focus on ways now to grow in positive ways.

But all of these confessionals, whether at Yom Kippur, or on our death bed or on our wedding day are designed to help us think through the past and the coming year. To help us clarify who we ought to be and match the inside and the outside of who we are. They are designed to help us restore our faith in ourselves, our own resolve to live up to Jewish standards. These confessionals are in part to help us restore our hope in ourselves and yes, that God (even if we aren't sure of God's existance) will hope in us again! Teshuvah is the process that begins with the confessional. Repentance doesn't happen just because of the confession but according to all the teachers of Torah from Maimonides to Geronides, true repentance happens only when challenged by similar circumstances in the future. When the words and we speak match our actions; when the inside and the outside agree.

Long ago a short tempered and ill mannered king was miserable. Yet he yearned to be happy. It posed such a challenge to him that he sent for the kingdom’s wizard, his most loyal and trusted advisor.

“I want my life to be filled with joy and happiness,” the king explained. “And you must help me achieve this.”

“As you wish, Your Majesty,” And the wizard left.

A few days later, the sage returned with a solution. IF you want to be happy, Your Majesty You must act happy and pleasant,” he said, “And you must wear this mask?”

The wizard handed the king a mask that was a copy of the king’s face-except with a more pleasant countenance. The king put on the mask and as he walked around the castle, he noticed that people always smiled back at him.

This delighted the king. He wasn’t used to his subjects responding to him so positively. Soon he began to interact more closely with the members of his court. He grew to know and appreciate them, and they came to know and respect him. However after a year, the king grew troubled.

“Though this mask has greatly improved my life, I can no longer continue deceiving the good people of this kingdom,” the king confessed one day to his wizard. “I must remove this mask and reveal my true self to my subjects- even if it means losing their respect.”

“As you wish your majesty,’ the wizard replied and guided the king to a mirror.

When the king removed the mask, he discovered that his once-wrinkled brow was now smooth. And the scowl he’d worn on his face in the “pre- mask” days was gone. His lips were curved in a pleasant smile; his face now resembled the mask he’d worn for the last year.

“This is remarkable,” exclaimed the king. “I am a new person!”

“This is who you really are, Your Majesty,” assured the wizard. ‘You just needed to be reminded.”[1]

Yom Kippur and this Kol Nidre eve is our moment of removing the masks we wear to discover our true selves. To face who we are and to think about not just the past but who we ought to be in the year ahead. To move beyond the crisis we have lived-to learn from it. To grow from it and to move in a new direction with hope because we have struggled so mightily our sufferings of love, our issurin shel ahavah. The king in this story practiced with his new mask and that practice made perfect. He became his mask. A kinder more gentler king. His inside and outside began to match.

Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur remind us to practice our values. Practice our Jewish ethics. During the last year we got lazy. We vowed when we were here to change. To Repent. To make teshuvah. To turn over a new leaf. But the year happened around us. Challenged us. Switched our focus at times to survival mode that sometimes led us into believing that shortcuts were best. Shortcuts save time but sometimes the process isn't complete. The process of dealing internally with that which really must be rebuilt and retooled doesn't have shortcuts. We search for them but there is hard work to uplift ourselves and our souls and our beings.And to maintain wholeness. When the world is swirling in chaos around us and we feel caught in that tornado sometimes our insides can’t match up with our outsides and vice a versa.

But we are here now to get our outside and inside to match. This is our goal on this day. And in the end it will help us renew our faith in ourselves and help us build faith in the larger Divine Presence.

The human condition, the human task is to seek meaning and to make meaning of our lives of the random acts that happen around us and to us. The crises we have all experienced this year call out to us to find some meaning in them. We can rage against them or we can try to find meaning over that which we have no control.

This task of finding meaning is how we create a context for our lives and our relationships. How we respond to crisis, difficulties and our own foilbles is a measure of the wholeness of life. As Rabbi Richard Hirsh has written, "It is this affirmation that enables us to fulfill those most essential human attributes: the ability to forgive, to make peace with ourselves and with others and to move forward with hope." We have to let things go.[2]

Two monks Ekido and Tanzan were walking down a muddy road

On the outskirts of a village they encountered a woman dressed in beautiful silk kimono.

She wanted to cross the road, but the thick mud would’ve ruined her clothing. Tanzan picked up the woman and carried her across the road.

The monks continued on their journey in silence for several miles. Just before they reached their destination, Ekido turned to Tanzan and said, “Why did you pick up that woman and carry her to the other side of the road? That is not how we were meant to serve.”

Tanzan replied, “Several hours have passed since I put her down. Why are you still holding on to her?”3

How many things from your past have you been carrying around? Now would be a good time to lighten your load and leave them behind.

What are you holding on to from last year? It is time to make room for the holy radiance of God as the mystics of our tradition would call it. We can bring an extra measure of blessing and holiness and hope to our lives. When we let in the holy radiance of God's goodness in,we can then reflect that goodness out into the world by our words and deeds. When we become receptacles for the Divine Holy Light, we fulfill our purpose as the People Israel to bring Light to the Nations and be an Or LaGoyim as the prophet Isaiah urged us. When we on this Yom Kippur day clean away the mud that filters out the Divine Light of Purpose and Renewal we will be better able to shine our essence to others and refract it back to God and the world too.

This can restore hope in our own lives. Restore our purpose.

A man stands before God his heart breaking with pain and injustice in the world. "Dear God, " he cried out. "Look at all the suffering, the anguish and distress in Your world. Why don't you send help?" God responded: " I did send help. I sent you."[3]

We are the messengers of change, of working through crises, of turning the world's misery into goodness. And today on Yom Kippur we strive to balance ourselves for this task. To balance the inside and the outside. We strive to make our souls ready and to renew the pathway of love of our own self and others and I dare say it, renew the pathway to let God love us on this day.

The prophet Ezekiel taught us that when we turn to redirect our selves, and make the inside and the outside match, then our hearts that have been so toughened, so hardened, so turned to stone be melted on this day and we in turn can will be given by God a heart of flesh. And God’s spirit will be placed with you, the prophets said (36:26). God will cleanse us and purify us on this holy night.

So tonight as we prepare for our confessions-our confrontations bewteen our outerself and our inner self. Our ongoing dialogue with our sense of our humanity--help us to be open to the possibility that we might receive the love and support of this community in our effort to heal. Let us be open to the possibility that God wants us to grow and to change. Let us be open to the possibility that we might truly change from the inside out. And that God’s loving hand will place this renewed Divine holy breath and heart inside of us to strengthen us for the New Year.

Ken Yehi Ratzon So may it be God's Will Kn 5770

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[1] p. 5 Bits and Pieces, Ragan Communication, January 2008

[2] Yom Kippur Readings, ed. Peretz Dov Elkins, p. 67 from "Forgiveness as an Essential Human Attribute- To make Peace with Ourselves and with Others, To Move Forward with Hope", Jewish Exponenet, Dec. 18, 1992

[3] Wolpe', David,Why Faith Matters", p. 38-39

Rabbi Denise L. Eger
Congregation Kol Ami
Kol Nidre evening 5770
Rabbi@kol-ami.org
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ANGELS OF CHANGE - ROSH HASHANAH MORNING 5770

Shabbat Shalom and Happy New Year.

They say you can never go home again. This summer I tried that out. I went home to Memphis for a brief visit. The apartments that I grew up in are now torn down and a Mercedes Benz dealership sits on the land of my childhood! Lots of change through the years.

During my visit to Memphis I went to the National Civil Rights Museum. This museum is dedicated to telling the story of the African American Civil Rights struggle and the work of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. It is built around the site of his assassination, The Lorraine Motel. You can see the room where he stayed just as it was on that April 4th day in 1968 and the balcony where he was shot by a gunman across the street.

The hotel now restored and the museum built around it, is a far cry from how it looked when I lived there as a teenager. At least once a week, I would park my car outside the hotel and just sit contemplating what transpired there. My mother worked around the corner on Beale Street and I used to drive her to work and pick her up each day. Some afternoons I drove downtown early just to sit outside the Lorraine Motel which during the seventies was a ruin. Fenced off ; crumbling bricks; urban blight. I would try to imagine what happened.

King was in Memphis to help solve a Sanitation workers strike. He had been in Memphis the last week in March trying to help negotiate a solution and have a nonviolent protest march with the workers. It ended in rioting when police attacked. He left only to be summoned back to lead a peaceful protest when the talks broke down once again. The sanitation workers were asking for the basic dignity of a raise from $1.60 an hour to $2.00 and the right to unionize. An issue of economic justice.

But Memphis at the time was hardly the place it is now. It was rife with racism. And the Klan marched openly in her streets. Jews were only a notch above. And the rabbi of my youth, Dr. James Wax worked tirelessly to help the sanitation workers in the struggle. Rabbi Wax was the head of the Memphis Ministerial Association in February, 1968 when the sanitation workers went on strike. Dr. Wax was instrumental in helping organize the workers and the protests, rallying clergy and citizens to their cause. He conferred with Dr. King. He confronted the Mayor of Memphis on a number of occasions who refused to negotiate fairly. And the day after King was shot led a giant march down the main street -Poplar Ave to City Hall to take on the Mayor.

As I would sit outside of the Lorraine Motel as a teenager this living history was part of the fabric of my spiritual foundation. It shaped my understanding of the intersection between my Judaism and civil rights. It echoed the call of our Prophets, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Amos and Micah to uplift human dignity.

The story of the civil rights movement of African Americans was bloody and long. It involved hundreds of people and different organizations. At first with their various turf wars but then coordinating and cooperating to make their protests meaningful. King’s Southern Christian Leadership Council, the NAACP, The Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee and later the work of Malcom X joined together to support one another and to build a movement for change and equality even as they maintained their own missions. Whether at lunch counter sit-ins, boycotts of the buses, freedom riders, and voter registration drives, marches like the one in Selma, the various tactics would pay off.

Unfortunately, there were young people who paid often with their lives, like Chaney, Goodman and Schwerner who were lynched by the Klan in the summer of 1964 in Meridian, Ms. They were willing to take on the cause of justice and equality not just with a checkbook but with action and fervor and total commitment to their cause. Not just African Americans. But white Americans who were just as fueled and committed to equality and civil rights.

All through the story of the African American Civil Rights movement Jews were there as team members and supporters. What you may not know is one of the founders of the NAACP was a prominent Jewish leader in 1910, Henry Moscowitz. And many Jews have served on its board and as chair person. Previously serving on the Board was Rabbi Emil Hirsch, Rabbi Stephen S. Wise, Julius Rosenwald owner and leader of Sears, Roebuck Company, Lillian Wald founder of Henry Street Settlement House and the Reform Movement’s own Rabbi David Saperstein of our Religious Action Center. Columbia Professor Joel Spingarn served as chair from 1913-39. His brother Arthur succeeded him as chair of the NAACP until 1965. Kivie Kaplan a noted Reform Jewish businessman from 1965 -1975.
Jewish involvement in civil rights was and is an extension of our Jewish values. “Remember the stranger in your midst for you were once strangers in the land of Israel”, the Torah teaches us. This value propels us to see all as created b’tzelem Elohim, created in God’s image. We Jews have been called to a mission of ensuring human rights in places where there are none because we as a people have known throughout our history what it means to be treated without human dignity. To be ghettoized, marginalized, denied economic access and murdered. We know that there are still many places where Jews are hated for no other reason than our faith. Our people have memory of what it means to not be treated as fully human.

And in this sacred community those of us who are Gay, Lesbian Bisexual and Transgender also know what this is like. In this last year, the California electorate proved once again that they gave into their fears about gay people. They gave in to the lies and myths about our lives.

Was it only a year ago that we stood in this sanctuary and celebrated those who had married? Those who tasted the full force of their human dignity granted by the Supreme Court of California with the opportunity for gay men and lesbians to marry their partners? Would all of you who were married in the last year gay or straight please stand! So we can applaud you and celebrate your humanity!

(Please rise)

But sadly now we have lost this part of our equality and liberty. And when on group loses equality all are diminished.

But if we want it back it will take much more than we are doing now. If we want our civil rights at the federal level then it will take more than we are doing now.

Gay and straight must work passionately together. And as a Jewish community we must help be a strong part of this movement towards GLBT full acceptance and equality in our country. It is part of our heritage to cast our lot with the underdog for we have walked that road so often. Our story is the story of the underdog rising to leadership. Of Isaac, not Ishmael, of Jacob not Esau, of Joseph over his older brothers, of Moses over Aaron and Miriam, the underdog wins out. And this should provide us with inspiration for our cause

Today to achieve our full inclusion and our full civil rights will take more than isolating in our community. We must move beyond just talking to ourselves and our allies. This was a failure of the No on 8 campaign. We didn’t talk enough outside of our allies. We must get out of our comfort zones and build strategic alliances together. For those of you who are straight family and friends who are a part of this community we need you to continue to combat the hatred for gay people everywhere. Our commitment to equality and total acceptance of those on the margins is part of the fabric of Kol Ami’s essence.

But what does that mean for you and me sitting here today? How can we further this cause? And energize ourselves for the long haul. Last November’s defeat at the ballot box and the subsequent defeat at the Supreme Court in overturning Proposition 8 have left many of us jaded; burned; saddened and angry.

Do we merely let the organizations on a national and statewide basis do their work? Do we write checks in the comfort of our homes? Do we leave it to others to do for us? Wait our turn? Do we sit out and say “Well they screwed it up so I am not going to participate. This has nothing to do with my everyday life.” “I don’t care about marriage equality because I am single or I will never get married.” “Marriage is failed institution.” If these continue to be our responses I can assure you GLBT full inclusion and rights will never be won. For this is not the way we will make the vision of the prophets who called out God’s messages of universal hope, of a time when all will become one, a reality.

On this New Year’s Day we have a chance to be God’s messengers, God’s angels in this world doing this holy and spiritual work. We have a chance to be the angels of change in our country, the angels who bring the Divine mandate for human dignity and caring into the world and into our lives. The angels who bring blessings every Shabbat –as we sing Shalom Aleichem; The Angels- like Raphael who bring blessings of Healing and Uriel who brings light into the world. You can be an angel one of the heavenly host on earth. You can be an angel of change though your commitment, and willingness to act bringing equality from the Heavenly Realm here to the Earthly Realm.

First it is time to march. To get out of your comfort zone. Time to show our face in Washington and make a significant showing. Time to join me in Washington, D.C. for the March for Equality Oct 10-11. Show up. Be counted. And help send a message that our rights are crucial for America’s dream of liberty to be fulfilled. You can send a message that we are simply not going to settle anymore—we won’t live as second class citizens. For we have tasted true inclusion and it was stolen from us by the lies. Now is the time to organize and march together. You can be an angel of change. The time has come to understand that the equality and liberty for gay men and lesbians must demand action. The young people had it right last November following our embarrassing and humiliating and devastating loss at the ballot box-the streets is where we must be. And we must be more visible in our quest. Action not rhetoric is what we need to achieve this goal of full human rights here in California and our nation.

Secondly, we must insist that the turf wars between organizations and personalities stop. The battles between personalities and the finger pointing of the past will only keep us from achieving our common goal of equality. And you who are leaders in this room, who sit on the various boards, must demand this of your executives. As donors you must demand that we get on the page together; to share resources. The time has come to demand coordination and cooperation. And if the organizations are busy arguing with each other and we are arguing among ourselves—then the ability to create a real action plan is hampered. We need more coordinated efforts to protest at every army recruiting station. We need coordinated efforts to protest at every marriage license bureau. We need more volunteers to go and register voters and talk to them about marriage equality. Do you think that Rosa Parks was just a nice seamstress who refused to give up her seat on a bus? Mrs. Parks worked for the NAACP! There was coordinated action. And coordinated action is the real way we will transform this country and this state. We need to lobby more and demand of elected officials and those running for office to be held accountable on our issues. We need you to come down from the hills and the comfort of our middle class and be an angel of change – to get actively involved.

We need more volunteers willing to take on the Catholic and Mormon churches by reaching out across the pews to your neighbors and friends who are Catholic and Mormon. We can’t be afraid to engage people in conversation about full equality. We must tell our stories and we must be visible. We are the angels-God’s messengers on earth who will transform our world if we act.

But this is not the task of the GLBT community alone. It will take passionate people of all kinds coming together to rise up to action. We learned this from the African American civil rights struggle.

This is a vision that can be fulfilled. And we here in this congregation are uniquely poised to further this goal. This community has always been gay and straight together—seeking a vision of holiness and wholeness for our lives. To find the Divine inside and to bring that Divine hope into our world. It is why our commitment as a community to social justice has always been at its core. Whether it is feeding the hungry with our work for Sova and Project Chicken or engaging the local West Hollywood Russian community to overcome their fear of gay men and lesbian or walking for Darfur, and raising awareness of the genocide taking place in the midst of the Sudan as the world turns its head as part of Jewish World Watch.

Full equality of the GLBT community is not just about marriage equality but it is about repealing DOMA, Repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, allowing couples to be reunited when one is of a different nationality which at the present time is not allowed. It is about adoption which in many states is still outlawed for gay people. It is about getting the Employment Non-Discrimination Act passed. It is about Extending the civil rights bill of 1964 to the GLBT community. It is about changes in Social Security and other federal agencies. It is about access to healthcare, and for those with HIV/AIDS especially, access to the medicines that help sustain their well-being.

Most importantly, we who are members and supporters of this Congregation understand something that is still often lost on some leaders of the LGBT community and the foundations. That unless we address the so-called religious right on these issues and take them on and fund our GLBT positive religious organizations that we will never win our civil rights. This is a message I have been trying to drum into the hearts and minds of LGBT political leaders for more than two decades. And some have listened. But time and again they continue to think they can do it alone with ballot initiatives, legislation that doesn’t get signed, and court battles. But they can’t. Until we address the lies that the fundamentalist both Christian and Jews repeat. Until more of the political organization in our state recognize and turn to those of us who have the ability to articulate our vision of God’s inclusivity and beliefs have the moral authority to challenge their religious books head on we will never win. We must take the moral authority that we have and expound it everywhere. And you who have a spiritual foundation must be well-versed to answer these inflammatory and hateful lies where the Bible is used to bash us. You can help do this and be and Angel of Change

The pathway to our full equality will take building coalitions with other groups beyond the GLBT community, to work in solidarity to improve the quality of all of our lives and our country. We must reach across the partisan divide especially.

That is why the struggle for our civil rights, our human rights, is broader than marriage equality-it is about shaping a world, a vision where we are part of an ongoing march towards equality and opportunity. In Dr. King’s last years even as he was intimately involved in the struggle for African American civil rights—he understood that human dignity was more than just one group’s equality. And so he turned his eyes also to curing poverty and against the war in Vietnam. He understood that the great challenges in his day to our society held back everyone.

We too must embrace this strategy. The great poverty around us, that was here before the recession hit and has only grown keeps us all from thriving and keeps us from our equality. This is why we are participating in the Jewish Federation and Mazon and Sova campaign Fed Up with Hunger –you each have received a black reusable bag –in it are the lists for Sova, the Kosher Food Pantry. Bring back to us on Yom Kippur or any time to our synagogue a brown paper bag filled so we can help the hungry and begin to defeat poverty. The reusable bag is yours to keep helping our environment.

Another place we should be involved as a GLBT and Jewihs Community is our schools. The problems in our school system hold everyone back from creating a workforce that is ready and able to become the workers that we need for a full economic revival. In Los Angeles County-the dropout rate especially among young boys of color soars astronomically. Nearly one in five African American boys and nearly 3 in 10 Latino boys drop out. Talk about no hope- We can’t live in our isolated hubs of the valley, the hills and the Westside and especially West Hollywood and continue to turn a blind eye to the layers and layers of issues that hold all of us down. Even if you have no children or send yours to private school, this group on the margins is no different than gays and lesbians being on the margins. We all are denied access to full equality and opportunity.

That is why our congregation must be poised in this our 18th anniversary year to engage each other in this quest for justice and equality like never before.

Civil rights are human rights. And when we as a Jewish community work tirelessly for those rights—we are living our values and building Dr. King’s beloved community. As Dr. King wrote in his last book "Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe, our class, and our nation . . ."

To that end I offer you four opportunities to work to make this change and to be the change –an Angel of Change.

Our congregation will begin a process of working with California Faith for Equality to prepare for a dialogue between members of our congregation and others from congregations that voted Yes on 8 this will be a first step in carrying our message of human dignity to others. Getting out of our comfort zone and engaging with those who don’t understand our lives and our spiritual vision echoed by the Prophets. Wednesday Oct 14 at 7 pm will be the first training for the dialogue. We will be able to transcend some of these boundaries through our dialogue. We might not agree but we will create together some common ground for knowing one another. Be an angel of change face to face with others who are different.

Secondly, Equality California is working hand in hand with the Gay and Lesbian Center’s Vote for Equality program. This program canvasses door to door in neighborhoods reaching out across color and class lines to engage voters in a conversation about GLBT equality. There are sign up clipboards in the lobby and information in your black bangs. There is phone banking, Volunteer recruitment and an opportunity to really make a difference person by person. Be an angel of change.

And later in the winter, Courage Campaign will be holding a mini-camp courage for training activist specifically who come from a spiritual background. And in November Rev. Eric Lee of the Southern Christian Leadership will come and teach us about the issues of education and the increasing dropout rates among boys of color and what we can do about.

We need you. We need you to walk like the angels to transform souls and lives. And through doing so you will transform our cause of justice and equality into a reality.

The Kedusha prayer in the Amidah is a dialogue between the Heavenly Host the choir of angels who sing Holy Holy Holy—praising God.

The midrash says that the Angels do this job from Sunset to Sunup while we Sleep. And during the day it is our jobs to be like the angels praising God’s holiness and acting in God’s holy ways here on earth. You shall be holy for I Adonai am holy—Words we will read Yom Kippur afternoon. This is the year of action, the year to make a change, this year -5770 of becoming the angels who transform our world, ourselves, and yes our cause of justice, equality and civil rights. And let it be renewd here with us. Ken Yehi Ratzon so may it be God’s will.

Three times you call holy to hallow God like the angels
We are here! We are here!
Your spirit filled army
They are the source of your teaching
That expands the circle of your followers
They proclaim your sacred praise
Which they spread throughout the world
They robe themselves in awe
Crowning your head with Jewels
You shall sing songs anew
Know all this and be brave
Call out a threefold Holy

Rabbi Denise L. Eger
Congregation Kol Ami
Rosh Hashanah morning 5770
Rabbi@kol-ami.org
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