Parshat Chayeh Sarah: Genesis 23:1- 25:18 By: Rabbi Denise L. Eger

Parshat Chayeh Sarah is bookended by the deaths of the first matriarch and patriarch of the Jewish people, Sarah and Abraham. The opening verses describe the death of Sarah and Abraham’s mourning for her and his negotiations to buy a proper burial place for the family in the Cave of Machpelah in Hebron/Kirat Arbah. The end of the portion reports Abraham’s sons, Ishmael and Isaac, coming together to bury their father in that same burial place.

But this portion also records the marriage of Isaac to Rebekah and the marriage of Abraham to yet another wife named Keturah with whom he has many more children.

Following the death of Sarah, Abraham realizes he must find a suitable wife for his son, if the promise of the covenant is to be fulfilled. He does not want Isaac to marry the local pagans. Instead he sends his servant and chief of staff back to the land of his own ancestors to seek a wife for Isaac. This is exactly what Eliezer does and the portion records the encounter of Rebekah at the well and her kindness to Eliezer and his camels and her willingness to go on a great adventure to meet her future husband. Both implicitly and explicitly, the force of the Divine is present in Rebekah and Eliezer’s encounter and chance meeting. It also is operating as Eliezer meets Rebekah’s family and recounts the story and the purpose of his trip. Rebekah’s family acknowledges this Divine force playing out and larger drama when they say, “The matter was decreed by God; we cannot speak to you bad or good. Here is Rebekah before you; take her and go and let her be a wife to your master’s son as God has spoken” (Gen. 24: 50-51). Rebekah is asked directly if this is what she wants and she affirms it.

Rebekah travels back to the land of Israel with Eliezer and when Isaac and Rebekah meet they seem to have a strong connection and “Isaac then brought her into the tent of his mother, Sarah, and he took Rebekah as his wife. Isaac loved her and thus found comfort after his mother’s death” (Gen 24: 67).

Also Abraham takes another wife once this task is completed. He marries Keturah and has many children by her. Our tradition often tries to identify Keturah with Hagar, the second wife that bore Ishmael and whom Abraham had to turn out of his tent at Sarah’s insistence.

But all this talk of marriages is important especially in light of the lies and deceptions told by those who were part of the coalition of churches in the protect marriage groups that took away the fundamental rights of gay men and lesbians to marry in California. They continually invoke the Bible as the source of traditional marriage. They claim that since Biblical times marriage was only between one man and one woman. If they just read the story of Abraham and Sarah and the patriarchs of Judaism which Christianity also claims they would see nothing could be further than the truth.

Abraham was married to Sarah. But Sarah gave her servant Hagar to Abraham to father a child. That child was Ishmael. Hagar’s status was that of second wife. Polygamy was standard fare in Biblical times. It fell out of favor in Jewish tradition but was formally and finally outlawed in Jewish tradition in the Middle Ages. Although in some Jewish communities in Arab countries the practiced remained into the twentieth century heavily influenced by the culture surrounding them. Today in many Islamic nations polygamy continues to be normative and in many Mormon communities it is as well as we have seen in recent months. But to claim the mantle of the Bible as justification that marriage has always been the same and only between one man and one woman is just plain out wrong.

But religious bigots will stop at nothing to twist and turn the bible to suit their goals. Many Biblical characters had multiple wives with God’s blessing. King David, King Solomon, and even the patriarch Jacob had more than one wife. But now like slavery our society views multiple wives (or husbands) as an anathema. Jesus according to Christian tradition had no wife.

There is a lot of room for a variety of family structures. But to continuously use the Bible as the justification for passing laws which eliminates civil and equal rights for a segment of the population based on one’s religious views negates the distinction between religion and state.

As we continue to fight for justice and freedom in the state of California and across the nation and around the world, we would do well to remember that marriage is and always has been an evolving and changing and dynamic institution. What matters most between the two people involved are the values they share in common and the way that they treat each other with respect, honor, dignity and yes, love.

Different religions have different approaches to marriage in their traditions. But it is unfair and un -American to have one religion’s ideas carved into American law when it would abrogate another’s religious practice. This is not a theocracy. Practice your faith in your pews and I will practice mine in my shul. If it is the state that issues the marriage license get the clergy out of the state’s business and if a couple wish to have a blessing or religious ceremony in their church or synagogue terrific! Then they must also meet the criteria of their faith tradition.

Reform Judaism welcomes gay men and lesbians beneath the wedding canopy. The present situation in California and in many states across the U.S. hampers the expression of our religious ideals. The time has come to end this.

Let us work diligently together to create that day!

Posted by Jimmy at November 18, 2008 10:54 AM