Parshat Shelach-Lecha; Numbers 13:1-15:41 By: Rabbi Denise L. Eger

This week has been a week of rejoicing, justice, celebration and history as same sex couples began to marry legally here in California. I have had the privilege of officiating at many weddings as a rabbi. It is part of the “work” of a rabbi to be a mesaderet kiddushin, an officiant of the sacred rite of marriage. It is a joy to stand with every couple under the chupah, the wedding canopy; to help them through our sessions of preparation not only for their wedding day but for their married life together. It is wondrous to see their faces and hearts glow as they exchange rings and vows. It is beautiful to see the families and friends many who travel so far to be with the happy couple share in that wonder, awe, hope and joy for all newlyweds.

For many, many years, some two decades now, I have stood with many lesbian and gay couples also beneath the chupah as they exchanged vows and promises. Each time a gay couple exchange rings, said their vows, signed a ketubah (their Jewish wedding document) you could feel the chains of oppression breaking just a little.

But something was missing at those ceremonies. That was the marriage license. What was missing was the civil authorization issued by the state that would by law give gay and lesbian couples the proper recognition and legal responsibilities of the institution of marriage. But how brave to envision their lives as married when the state would not recognize or give their new family any of the responsibilities, rights nor protections. How courageous gay couples have been to have Jewish wedding ceremonies often without familial support. How daring to envision their lives and the family they made with each other as so normative, defying the stereotypes that somehow gay people couldn’t possibly form stable, loving relationships.

For those of us who are gay and lesbian we knew. We knew those stereotypes were just that. But we often lacked the access to smash those stereotypes. That is why so many of us, gay and straight together, especially in our own congregation have work so hard to transform our society and worked so hard for gay and lesbian civil rights.

And this week was the culmination of much of that hard work right here in our own state. At 5:01 pm on Monday, I had the honor of being the mesaderet kiddushin, the officiant, at one of the very first marriages in California for a same-sex couple. And what a difference that piece of paper makes! On the court house steps of Beverly Hills, the site where I had engaged in many protests throughout many years on the marriage issue, I had the honor of officiating for the wedding of Robin Tyler and Diane Olson. Robin and Diane along with many other couples had for many years applied in Beverly Hills for a wedding license and was denied each year of the annual protest on Freedom to Marry Day. Four years ago they initiated and became part of the historic lawsuit that would make its way through the courts finally to the California Supreme Court, who ruled that our state could not constitutionally deny marriage licenses to gay men and lesbians.

And so on Monday in Beverly Hills at 5:01 pm to honor their unique role in history the LA County Recorder, Dean Logan, allowed Robin and Diane to receive their marriage license at the earliest legal moment possible and I had the honor of conducting their wedding. It was like every wedding and no wedding. At most weddings I officiate at there isn’t the crush of the media and the very anti-Semitic and homophobic protesters, yelling “You will burn in Hell” or “Repent, you sinners”.

But there in the open court house steps the chupah was raised, the couple welcomed, the ketubah signed, Kiddish recited, the “I dos” said, the rings exchanged, the sheva brachot, seven wedding blessing recited over a second kiddish, and the glasses broken. And one special and unique difference for the first time as a rabbi, standing with a lesbian couple here in California, I was able to say (like my Massachusetts colleagues), “by the power and authority vested in me by the State of California” Robin and Diane were married—legally married!

It was a heart-pounding, and thrilling and a moment of true happiness: happiness for them –Robin and Diane, for our community, for the many who worked so hard to make this happen. It was a moment of thanksgiving for the Supreme Court who had the courage to speak the truth and bring justice and equality into our lives. It was a moment when the chains of oppression finally broke fully here in our world. It was a moment of tikkun—true repair and true healing. You could feel it. There was holy, electricity in the air and I knew that the Shekinah, God’s Divine and Holy Presence was with us!

So too for the weddings I was able to officiate at for our temple members on Tuesday, the first full day of issuing marriage licenses. And I know that as many of our members here at Kol Ami have wedding dates scheduled throughout the summer and fall, this same sense of tikkun and holiness, justice and equality, joy and celebration and the Shekinah will be with each of them as we say those words!

This week’s parasha reminds the children of Israel of the details about what they should bring as an offering of thanksgiving to God when they enter the Promised Land and they offer a sacrifice in fulfillment of a sacred vow that they have made. These offering are choice offerings for a vow is a special promise sworn before God.

This week-gay men and lesbians entered the Promised Land, the land of full equality and citizenship in California. For so many years gay men and lesbians have waited for this moment, to marry their partner and to protect their families legally and easily. So let us give thanks and let us give the choicest of offerings in thanksgiving for this privilege and this right. Today, we no longer make burnt offerings, we give of our heart in prayer and we give tzedakah. So in thanksgiving for this moment in history, for living to see the Promised Land give some serious tzedakah as an offering of gratitude and help us keep this new right protected for all. And let us give the deepest thanks of our heart for helping us see this and be a part of this in our lifetime, Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech Haolam Shehekiyanu, Vikiamanu, vihigianu lazman hazeh. Praised are You Adonai our God, Source of the Universe who has given us life, sustained us and brought us to this very joyous time! AMEN AMEN.

Posted by Aaron at June 18, 2008 04:55 PM