Parshat Vayechi; Genesis47:28 – 50:26 By: Rabbi Denise L. Eger

We come to the close of the book of Genesis with this week’s Parsha, Vayechi. The stories of our earliest ancestors, Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob and Leah and Rachel and Joseph and his brothers conclude with the deaths of both Jacob and son, Joseph.

Joseph had resettled his father’s household in Egypt after revealing his true identity to his brothers who had come to find food during the famine. His father Jacob lived 17 years in Egypt. As Jacob’s life was coming to the end he didn’t shy away from communicating his final wishes. Jacob asks his son Joseph to make sure that he will be buried in the ancestral burial plot in the land of Canaan, the Cave of Machpelah. This is the plot of land that Jacob’s grandfather, Abraham bought from the Hittites upon the death of his wife Sarah. Many of the important ancestors of our people are buried there in the city of what is now Hebron.
Jacob does what so many of us shy away from doing. We don’t make the necessary plans for what will happen when we die. We plan parties and plan careers. But we don’t take the time to plan for our deaths or at least what our wishes are in terms of burial. All too often we shy away from the discussion with our loved ones as if talking about it and planning for the day will somehow bring it closer to reality!
But communicating with our loved ones about where we want to be buried and if we want to be organ donors and other end of life decisions is an important task and I believe it is a sacred obligation. Jacob is clear with his son Joseph that he wants to be buried with his ancestors. He doesn’t want to remain in Egypt in a foreign land. But makes Joseph swear to him that his wishes will be fulfilled.
Jacob is a wonderful example for us of “taking care of business”. Joseph the son now knows exactly what his father wants to have happen. How many of us can say we have communicated with loved ones about our end of life decisions? If we are incapacitated who do we want to make decisions on our behalf? Do you want extraordinary measures to keep you alive or would you prefer a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order? Do you want to be buried in the traditional Jewish manner, in the ground? Or in a crypt? Do you even own a plot in a Jewish cemetery? Do you wish to donate organs, skin, and corneas and give the gift of life to someone else? Or will your survivors have to guess your desires? This is a terrible burden to place on loved ones. At a time they are dealing with such great loss why encumber them with the additional layers of difficulties in trying to arrange your affairs.
This week’s portion reminds us that to truly walk in the shoes of our ancestors we must be willing as Jews to face even difficult discussions and difficult decisions. This week is a good time to review your own end of life wishes and make decisions about who you wish to take care of those very important details. Jacob certainly did. He didn’t summon the eldest, Rueben but his beloved Joseph who knew his way around the bureaucracy of Egypt! Jacob knew which of his sons would best be able to carry out his wishes.
As we read this week’s portion do yourself and your family and friends a great favor and whether you are healthy or not, younger or older, communicate in writing and verbally to someone what you would want to have happen at the end of your life. In many states there are legally binding forms that can be filed with your important papers and with your medical care team so that they know your wishes. A directive for health care or a medical power of attorney can help lay out all of your wishes legally. Your will may also be a vehicle for doing so. While I am not qualified to give any legal advice (other than Jewish halakhick advice) and the specifics vary from state to state even a simple letter can help your loved ones know your wishes. Parshat Vayechi is a good time to follow Jacob’s lead. I hope you will.