Parshat Ki Tezeh; Deuteronomy 21:10 -25:19 By Rabbi Denise L. Eger

This week’s torah portion is filled with many different commandments that cover a wide-range of topics. Some have to do with civil law and others with criminal law. A number of the issues have to do with the consequences of various relationships between parents and children, between a man and a woman he desires, between the Israelites and various nations like the Amalakites or Edomites, and between brothers. The topic of war and how to build a roof parapet or assisting an animal that has fallen on the road stand side by side.

A number of the passages are quite gruesome and offensive to our modern and post- modern ideals. Of particular interest is the passage known as the rebellious son. Deuteronomy 21:18-21 describes a son who, “does not heed his father or mother and does not obey them when they discipline him.” This ben sorer u’morer, this out of control child, who mocks and ignores the parental honor due parents according to the fifth of the Ten Commandments, is a serious crime in the Book of Torah. This is more than mere disagreement or stubbornness; Jewish tradition has taught that this child is cursing his parents. This is seen not only as the ultimate insult but as an affront of the deepest sort. This child (or most probably grown child) is seen as evil since the section concludes, “Thus you shall sweep out evil from your midst: all Israel will hear and be afraid.” (Deut. 21:210

The punishment for this disrespect by the child is death by stoning.

What horror! Death for an insult? Death for a curse? Such a violent end? Would a parent really murder his child in this way? Did this really happen? Or is this some vestige of ancient tribal behaviors?

Many commentators have tried their best to explain this commandment away. Some have said, “This was never enforced.” “It was on the books but never happened.” Others see this as a warning to the child. Lifting up the commandment to honor the parents. The rabbis of the Talmud and Mishnah struggle with this passage too. They try to limit the instances that this could ever be applied and in the end argue that there never was a case such as this. By narrowing the ways in which this law could be applied they make it unusable.

But this is another case in the Torah where we must draw the line and simply say no. We cannot and must not condone such capital punishment by parent to their children in any case. We must not and cannot condone such child abuse.

Children get unruly and indeed need discipline but this is unthinkable. Just as it is as unthinkable that a child could be so evil. Children are not born evil. Children are shaped by the home they live in, the environment they are surrounded with. Perhaps a child that has learned such disrespect is only a reflection of the parents. Then the problem is much greater and there needs to be a systemic change of environment for all concerned!

As Reform Jews we have proudly stood up when our tradition taught that justice must prevail. So too we must speak up when our tradition is troublesome or wrong. Although the Torah permits slavery, we must refute it in the strongest terms. So too we must say that while we must find ways to address the rebellious child, we will not and cannot accept the Deuteronomic solution as described in this week’s parasha.

Posted by Lee at August 28, 2006 10:48 AM